The Wedding- by Moronic and Cocky
by Candy3314
Summary: AU. Wally and Dick are lovers in denial, and it only took them a wedding, cake duty, and a HECK of allot of things going wrong for them to realize it.


"You're..."

Selina's ungoverned smirk faltered in non the slightest, every loose anatomy pivoted sensually yet naturally by Bruce's lap or torso (as it always tended to be). Her lips were interlaced in a licorice violet-black color tonight, silhouetted in a decorous but simple black dress- Oh, and here's the surprise! _With_ sleeves. Very small ones, but hey, 'A' for effort. But really, when had such a formality graced the manor? What by chance could have called for it?

Then that thought from only 1 minute previous crossed my mind, and all pondering was obstructed to little shrivels of spastic me. Again.

_Married._

I bit my lip besides the unmannerly conduct of it, giving a nice, long look over to Bruce.

His carriage was just about as awkward as mine, if not more, with his frown conspicuously shaky, and fingers just as precarious with gentle, shuddering taps upon his knee. Other than that, still playboy extraordinaire! All did-up in his suit and hair pricelessly combed and gelled back (I remember when he tried that on me, Lord mercy!).

But I could still see he cared- cared about what I had to say, which I partly gratified but also condemned, because that meant I'd have to come up with _something_ to say to _that_.

It was too late to mindlessly exert 'Oh my God' or 'That's great!' or even 'About time, you love-birds you!'. Waaaay too long of a stiff silence had passed. Speaking of which; Oh, it was painful. 'Bout time we eradicated that petty thing, yes?

"Mm..."

Well done, me.

Before trying another swing at it, Bruce (and responsively) amended, "We're thinking of doing it here at the manor. Outside- Alfred's planting eglantines, gardenias, and- In the spring, of course." He smiled gingerly at me, leaning a bit forward with practiced charisma, all the while placing his calloused palm over Selina's knee supportively.

My jaw slackened, a suspenseful amount of potential energy creeping up the mountain of quietness. "That's be good," I said. My hands hugged, squeezed between my knees, and for a moment, I thought of those trap walls that slowly caved in to squish its prey.

Bruce's hand tightened consolingly over the clad, soft knee, forcing me back to the predicament.

They really were a cute couple, and honestly, I didn't mind them together. It got me thinking _why_ I was so stunned when they announced a marriage to me in the first place. That is, before I then imagined Bruce at the alter, Selina walking in the white dress, soothing cords dancing in whimsical enchantment, Bruce's chest swelling up in pride- I cringed, embarrassment coiling and contorting in the dwells of my insides. Ew, ew, ew! Oh, so awkward.

Selina and Bruce: girlfriend and boyfriend, Miss Provocative and Mr Defined, a freeborn and a businessman- The duo, The untied but loving, and undisputed couple of unrestrained avidity and _lust._

Ahem,_ not: _a happy deal package,affianced of the month, double-knotted-with-a-bow-on-top tied, promised for now and forever, or even faithful, and most certainly not married_,_ _husband _and_ wife_.

Not that I didn't want that for them, because I really do. It just didn't seem their style, especially Selina's. But knowing her she probably had some sort of affectionate fascination (and highly dramatic) fantasy for it, with all the glitz and glam sprinkled on top. Maybe this wasn't meant to be exactly an 'enactment of love and commitment', but just a boisterous pleasantry for Selina, a title for Bruce to have under his belt if time presses for it, and a silly celebration for media and friends to indulge their thirsty consciouses with.

I grinned (_finally), _leaning back playfully into my customary lavish attitude once more.

"Truly, that's great," I said with sincerity, and Bruce's face lightened just a tad more. "Now, down to the knitty gritty." Still mischievous, I set austerely serious looks to the financed. "Vanilla or chocolate for the cake?"

Bruce smirked certainly, arm now draping over Selina's delicate shoulders. "Vanilla."

A delighted glint entered my exult. "Good man."


End file.
